I keep coming across articles and blog posts about ways to help a new mom, ways to help a friend after the loss of a parent or child, and ways to help a sick friend. There is a great article in the April issue of More Magazine about ways to help a sick friend and it's one of the best I have read. It had really good tips and advice.
I have not, however, seen many articles about how to help a friend whose spouse is in the hospital a lot. It's odd because many people I know in my age group (45+) have a spouse or parent with health issues. When it is your spouse with health issues, more often then not it's not only scary to have to deal with the health concern, but the unexpected financial issues that arise when your spouse can't work can seem insurmountable.
I've come up with some things that have really helped me during my husband's health issues. Long nights spent in hospital waiting rooms have given me some insight. When it comes to personal comfort, time spent in the hospital when a loved one is sick is similar to being stuck at the airport when your flight is cancelled.
If you feel your best you can better care for others. I have a "hospital bag" with necessities for those long days. If you know in advance that you will be at the hospital, pack a bag for yourself. If your friend is suddenly dealing with a family member's health issues, taking these things to her at the hospital can bring huge relief and none of them are expensive or hard to find. Of course, all these things work for men, too.
1. A scarf and socks: Hospitals are freezing. They seem even colder when you are sitting on a hard chair next to a person in a bed under blankets. Socks obviously keep your feet warm and a scarf can double as a wrap or blanket as needed. Both can be inexpensive and found at drugstores and stores like Target and Walmart.
2. Quarters: When you need a diet coke and the cafeteria is all vending machines, you need quarters. Most drinks are $1.50 in quarters. It sounds silly to give someone a handful of quarters but it is the most wonderful thing at midnight and you are parched.
3. Chapstick: All the cold recirculated air makes you all dried out.
4. Good smelling lotion: It's calming to smell something good and even more so when you are surrounded by hospital smells. You feel more refreshed when you are smelling good and your hands don't feel all dry from the constant use of hand sanitizer.
5. A tooth brush or mouthwash: After hours in a hospital, brushing your teeth is a religious experience.
6. OTC Pain Relief: You'd be amazed how hard it is to cure your own headache in a hospital.
7. A small notepad and pen: There are so many things you have to write down if you are caring for someone- medication times, doctor's names, room numbers, telephone numbers, terms you want to google later. A notepad is also good for mindless doodling or collecting your thoughts.
8. A phone charger: This is essential. Phone batteries die fast when you need them to last forever. If your phone is dead and you can't use the notepad feature, the actual notepad and pen become your lifeline. I have many chargers for my phone and if your friend has the same type of phone, share your charger. Or offer to go get them theirs. Texting people updates or information is essential in areas where you can't make calls and have to rely on semi-good wifi to communicate.
9. Protein or Snack bars: It's really hard to leave a loved one's bedside to grab some food because in the 3 seconds you are gone is when the doctor will come and you will miss getting all the information you want.
All of these items will fit together in a small pouch or bag.