I Am Art

three days of naps

I  don't get excited about New Year's Eve. Every single day I look at my calendar and think about it being a New Year's Eve. Every single day is a New Year's Eve if you are paying attention and you are alive. We don't drink and don't like parties where people are drunk. New Year's Eve seems to be a reason for party people to drink. I don't want to be anywhere near anyone drinking and driving, or drinking and talking, or drinking and over-emoting.  We prefer holidays that Reese's makes treats for. If there's chocolate covered tree or egg or heart, GREAT! Food based holidays win our hearts.
My husband, on the other hand, loves a party and a drink and if you invite him to a party he will happily go. That is why we are a good match! We balance each other out. One of his friends invited him to a party in New Orleans for New Year's Eve and he really wanted to go. Ok! Merry Christmas, honey! I was happy to see him happy to spend a weekend with his friends who like to go to parties and have a drink and have a little adventure. Why not? Everyone needs some adventure. I'm sure he'd send me off for a weekend of Neil Diamond concerts and cookies if I wanted to go to one with my friends. Anyway, I have many things I want to do around the house while still listening to the Annie Lennox Christmas CD on repeat and those things are easier done alone.  Just think of all the home decor and DIY you can get done in your house ALONE for THREE DAYS!  Naturally, I took an extended disco nap today and so far nothing has happened on DAY ONE but I have big plans.
The weird thing is when people ask me what I am doing for New Year's Eve and I tell them my husband is out of town and that I will be recovering my chairs, they look horrified. Your husband left you alone on New Year's Eve? Why is everyone so afraid of being alone?  Doesn't anyone have any hobbies anymore?  I mean, yeah, I am alone and every weird noise in the night freaks me out but that is no different than a night when my husband is at work. That is not what I mean about being alone alone.

 

Kindle, Nook, or Neither?

I'm trying to decide if I want the Nook Color or a Kindle. I think I want the Nook because it's in color! Does anyone have it and love it or hate it? Perhaps the better question is does anyone have a Nook and take Ambien? Have you fallen asleep with the Nook in your hand and had a catastrophe? I'm afraid I will be reading in bed and wake up with the Nook or Kindle on the floor in pieces. Though, I have never woken up with my book or magazine on the floor. I have never even woken up on the floor. But since I am me, I like the worse case scenarios.

Hours of family fun

This has been a very good holiday weekend so far. I haven't had to do anything! This is the kind of holiday I like! It's an actual holiday from doing anything. I made our favorite foods and we'll go to a movie today but aside from that, I am happy to have time to just hang out. Karen and I have been having nightly discussions about what color paints we like (we're both repainting rooms in our houses) and I'm looking at kitchen components, and for once we are not running around from house to house to please anyone.

Yesterday, my husband and I went outside with my camera and took some photos to send to his mom who lives a few hours away. It annoys the hell out of me when people send us photos of only their kids at Christmas, so I didn't think it was a good idea to just send my mother-in-law a photo of Suki sitting alone. It was cold and muddy yesterday but I absolutely love to take photos with the self-timer on the camera. A good time was had by all. Well, maybe not by Suki who was pissed off about the whole thing. If you are one of those people who sent out cards of just your kids because you thought you didn't matter, or were too fat, or your hair looked bad, set your camera on a table, turn on the self-timer, and get in some photos with your family. It's fun, it's free, and later in life you will be so happy you have photos from today. Sometimes the photos when the camera goes off on when you are not ready end up being the best ones.

*This photo with notes all over it is in my flickr. Karen and I will do photos like this next time we are together.

Happy Holiday weekend to everyone! We hope you are doing whatever you want to be doing.

Bars, balls, and chocolate everywhere

In the last half an hour I have come to the realization that I prefer making bar cookies over cookies or candies that require being dipped in chocolate -or even worse-rolled into balls then dipped. I love eating them all the same, but I'm not cut out for rolling and dipping. It's really hard to text while you are rolling sticky dough in your hands. The sound of my phone beeping unanswered endlessly while I stood in my kitchen rolling balls of Buckeye dough almost sent me over the edge today. You can easily slice bar cookies and respond to text messages at the same time.
At the beginning of the week, I experimented with the sea salt caramels. I made a few batches of that and in the end I decided you should add a tiny bit of shortening to your chocolate if you plan on having caramels for more than one day. The chocolate goes cloudy otherwise. They still taste fine but they don't look as pretty*. Then, yesterday I remembered that last year I decided I was going to make Buckeyes for my husband to take to his relatives on Christmas. Somehow I married into a non-baking Gentile family and I am the one who bakes on Christmas. What they hell? Next year I need to spend Christmas with a family that spends days baking for Christmas. That would be so awesome and delicious! Hopefully, they will serve turkey not ham. Whatever. Anyway, I got my mind set on Buckeyes and luckily when I tweeted a recipe request, I was not let down. I compiled the recipes everyone emailed and one my brother's wife gave me, and after the shock about the wax in the recipes, I got to stirring. It turns out there's a lot of butter and peanut butter in Buckeyes and they are a sticky mess to roll into balls. After an hour of rolling a heart attack into little balls, I wasn't really that excited about making Buckeyes anymore. I filled two cookie sheets full of little Buckeye balls and pretended the rest of the dough was poisonous and tossed it. My phone had been beeping forever! I omitted the candles from the chocolate part, added shortening instead, and started dipping. I don't know exactly what happened but somehow my entire kitchen ended up covered in chocolate. Even places not near the bowl of chocolate have chocolate on them. This doesn't happen when I slice bar cookies.
The worst part is I kept tasting the Buckeyes to be sure they were good.
Man oh man, they were so good. Now I need to make a second batch and figure out how to convert them to bar cookies.

Thanks to everyone who shared recipes with me! YUM!

*These are caramels made without shortening mixed with the chocolate. These are 5 days old. Yes, I do indeed experiment. I had to know in case I made/gave them for a gift. What if you gave someone a treat that started looking like dog poop 2 days later? You need to know these things.

yellow house freaks

This is the view from my front yard. I live in one of those neighborhoods where the neighbors go crazy with lights and there's no rhyme or reason (or editing). We've lived here for 11 years and every year it's the same thing. Well, the same in that the light show keeps growing.  I'm pretty sure we are the damn yellow house freaks who ruin the light show by not putting up any lights at all. What always puzzles me is how the neighbors barely have the Thanksgiving dishes in the dishwasher before they start hanging their lights and planting their light- up holiday zoo, yet never during the year do they rush to plant colorful flowers or paint their houses pretty shades of anything other than primer beige. They all compete with each other over how many strings of bulbs they have and how high they can hang them (look at that light pole next to the TWO BIG TRUCKS!), yet I have not seen any instances of grass or garden envy during the year.  They could be competing all year and they are not! Their insecurity only comes out at Christmas. That is so odd.

I have  never seen people who celebrate Hanukkah go absolute candle lighting crazy to prove to their neighbors that they are well endowed. We just keep our kugel recipes top secret.

*While we are on the subject of Christmas and Hanukkah, "Happy Hanukkah" is not the Jewish or Hebrew translation of "Merry Christmas." Saying "Happy Hanukkah" on Christmas to a Jewish person is silly. Hanukkah was at the beginning of December this year. It's over already. If you happen to be with Jewish people on Christmas, and you don't know what to say and you feel weird because it's all new to you, just say you hope they had a Happy Hanukkah, wish them a happy new year,  and hand them some cookies to enjoy while you get on with your Christmas stuff.  Cookies are good for all holidays no matter what you celebrate, I'm sure.

caramel, cats, and clothes

*I made the salted caramels I posted about before. Delish! I omitted the vegetable shortening because that seemed gross.  I used  Kraft caramels, Trader Joe's chocolate chips, and sea salt. I only made 6 in case they were not good and all 6 vanished rather quickly (my husband helped with the disappearance)! These are messy to make but well worth it. Put them in the fridge so the chocolate hardens but let them get to room temperature before eating them if you care about your teeth. Next time (right after I post this), I will cut the caramel squares in half before dunking them in chocolate for bites size candies. Yum, yum, YUM!

*I have totally softened in my old age. Apocalypse comes around on a daily basis to visit Suki and I don't mind anymore. They talk with glass between them. Apocalypse just sits there and Suki goes crazy jumping on the glass. Apocalypse never flinches. It's the same game every day. It turns out that Apocalypse is really sweet and affectionate and loves to be pet. Dare I admit that my husband and I even tried to give her treats but she didn't know what they were? I know, we should not feed her ...but, but, but... she looked like she wanted a treat. Today, it's pouring rain and cold out and when I didn't see Apocalypse  I got nervous that she was not protected from the elements. I made a bed of towels on a chair Apocalypse likes just in case she is out in the storm (her real parents suck) and then then she appeared at the door. She is on the chair, protected from the rain now.

*When I went to the doctor on Thursday, I found out that I have officially lost 24 pounds on my diet. My goal was 20 pounds.  I'd actually like to lose 5 more just for wiggle room but in case I do not, I am happy as I am. I know it is hard to keep the weight off, too, so I am still going to help keep Lean Cuisine in business. I need new clothes now! That part is exciting! I found good jeans, finally. They are Levi's mid-rise boot cut. I got the misses version in "short" and still had to get them shortened. The're similar to the Jag mid-rise boot cut (Foster style) and much less expensive. Actually, I think they are better than the Jag and I loved my Jag jeans. If you have seen cool clothes anywhere, let me know! I prefer clothes without owl appliques on the front  and no elastic in my sleeves. I am a tailored jacket addict.

Swedish, Russian, Mexican and Delicious

I promised my teenage niece and nephew an entire day of cookie baking, eating, listening to music, and talking about whatever we want to (swearing is permitted) during their winter break. Everyone needs a day to eat and vent without getting in trouble, especially teenagers. And, everyone needs a day of guilt-free eating (especially peri-menopausal women). This will be one awesome day! I want to be sure everyone's favorite cookies are made, so in preparation of our day of fun, I thought I'd make a test batch of Swedish Pecan Cookies this weekend- also known as Mexican Wedding Cookies and Russian Tea Cakes. You know a cookie is good when multiple countries claim it as their cookie.
Just seeing the bags of cookie ingredients on my counter brings me joy and relief.

 

*It seems like the newest update version of ShakeItPhoto makes photos too bright or somehow differerent than the old version.

semi-invisible reverse psychology

I've had a busy few days running around to doctor and dentist appointments. I'm glad I got a second opinion on my tooth because the second opinion was totally different than the first. I'm going to go with the second opinion which does not involve an implant but will involve more antibiotic treatment, a root canal,  a crown, and lots of luck. Karen is being the guinea pig on this one and she has already gotten started. I will get started in January...yuck! Nice of her to go first.
I've also been going to the doctor to get all the routine tests you're supposed to get when you have a cancery family before your insurance for the year ends. In a weird twist of events, nobody has weighed me. What the hell? I have finally lost weight! Now would be a fine time to weigh me! I have had the usual prickly nurses who don't listen when I say they should use a small needle to draw blood so not all is out of whack in my world. I'm going back to the doctor on Thursday, should I eat cookies hourly until then to see if that makes them weigh me? I might try  semi-invisible  reverse psychology to make things more fun.
The other morning while I was guzzling gallons of water before a test, I noticed that all the roses I planted in honor of our Nana were blooming. Lovely shades of orange, lavender, pink, and white were popping up!  I know everyone loves poinsettias this time of year, but the winter blooming roses are just gorgeous and so cheery. That makes me so happy.

cream cheese, sugar, and Vanilla Ice Ice Baby

Our insurance company finally called the mold company who finally called us and now everything is settled. Because things always have to be more complicated than easy, in order to solve the mold problem, we have to pretty much remove half the kitchen.  The great part of this story is I have always hated our sink so we'll be getting a new one. The bad part is our insurance policy has a five-thousand dollar limit on mold problems and repair. What an interesting problem to have!
We will have to for sure hire a pro for the mold issue. But since we are not made of money*, I see a lot of  DIY kitchen remodeling in our near future. I've been watching lots of HGTV and The Vanilla Ice Project on DIY to prepare me for this grand undertaking. So, if there's a way to remodel and de-mold a small kitchen on an extreme** budget, yo, I'll solve it.
I got a stack of magazines to flip through this weekend for inspiration. I have no idea what type of cupboards or counter-tops I want. It will be fun to choose new colors but I know if I change the colors of the kitchen, I will have to change the colors of the dining area and living room, too. You can't just change one part of a space in an open floor plan. I better get over my fear of the extension ladder fast!


*I am made of cream cheese and sugar.
**In this case extreme means very small.

holiday treats and spirit houses

I've gotten back on the diet wagon since I fell off it when I started eating my emotions last month. I don't want to be one of those people who gains 125 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Years Eve. At least I was aware that I was eating my mood so that was a good thing. Actually, I am still doing it. But I am counting the points in my candy bar for dinner before I get on the treadmill.
My thoughts about food and emotions inspired my newest spirit house, The Church Of Baked Goods. Prayers are answered daily here with cinnamon buns, cookies, and pie. The cupcakes are always frosted all the way to the edge at this bakery.  The spirit house is in my shop and blog readers can save 10% off everything in my shop this month with code HOLIDAY10.

Speaking of baked goods, we are on a salted caramel and chocolate kick.  If you are on the same kick, this recipe looks like it could be really yummy if you use good caramel and good chocolate.  It's on my list of treats to make this holiday season.
What treats are you making this season?