I Am Art

Offending people left and right

It's almost impossible to pick up a magazine geared towards women without reading about how important it is to get time for yourself. Get time for yourself and get rid of clutter- we are bombarded with that message. What we are not told is how to actually do those things without having to having to lie about what we are doing.  Suddenly sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll aren't hidden secrets, wanting three hours alone is the thing we have to hide.  Telling a friend or relative who doesn't get it that you'd rather spend a few hours at home  with your Neil Diamond CD at full blast with the windows open while you check expiration dates on your mascara, organize your sock drawer, and toss old magazines instead of attend their party never ever, ever goes over well.
People get really offended when what you really want to do is tend to your own life.
I have a running list in my head of things I want to do. I don't need to write the list down because the list has become part of me-- get rid of that stack of stuff on the table, dust that shelf between the first and second floor, throw out the tubs of old glue on my desk, donate the bags of old clothes in the garage, read Columbine, finally put photos in the frames on the wall, the list goes on and on. Yet, in my daily life there doesn't seem to be time to get to those things in addition to all the other things I need to get done. I really want to do those things. They nag at me like an annoying sitcom wife.
I offended people left and right today and that's their problem.
The stack of crap is off my table, the shelf between floors has been dusted, my old magazines have been tossed,  and my makeup drawer is organized.  And my Neil Diamond CD played all day on repeat.

*Red Chair prints are available in my shop.

sweet misery

I'm supposed to be here finishing designs for a line of sugary sweet and cheerful valentines for a client but I'm just not feeling it. I'm feeling annoyed and grumpy and like I want to kick people in front of me who talk too long to the cashier about their food allergies when I am in a hurry and my ice cream is melting. People, come on! Just twitter your issues like the rest of us and keep commerce moving in a speedy fashion! So anyway, in an effort to get rid of my bad mood, I made a valentine for my misery instead of the one I should be making right now. Then I moved it off my computer out of fear that I'd accidentally send it to my client because that would totally happen to me.

Who or what are you making fake valentines for today?

More Rice!

Today We're FEELIN' GROOVY about:
~My boyfriend Joe totally gets my love of white rice. He's giving me more (for a change). The packets of rice in the boxes of frozen baggies of rice are now 14 ounces instead of 10 ounces. I am not sure if the price changed because I only noticed as I was pouring the rice into our bowls for dinner. MORE RICE!
~Nordstrom Personal Stylist service:  no time to shop for flattering clothes in your budget and color scheme? Nordstrom's personal stylist really WILL pick out a big room full of cool clothes for you!
~Green Jasmine tea from Teas' Tea. It's the only bottled jasmine tea I have ever liked. There's no gross fake jasmine taste and it's so refreshing and good (and unsweetened). I am totally addicted to it. I got it at Whole Foods in the 2L bottle. It's really jasminey! Karen would hate it.
~My herb garden is still a garden and not a pot of mud and dried herbs.
~I'm slowly starting to put some original art on canvas from various commercial and commissioned projects in my etsy shop. More details on those projects will come soon. I say slowly because a lot of the pieces are big and it's taking a while to figure out how to package and ship them in the most economical way. The smaller pieces are going up first.
~The season finale of Modern Family. If you haven't seen it yet, it must be online or OnDemand on cable. For sure watch it before you take your family photo for your holiday cards.

Our Bêtes Noires:
~It was bad enough when gum manufacturers started making tri-fold, ridiculous packaging; now they have added weird tasting gum, like Stride's "Mega mystery" (grapefruit grossness). You need 4 hands to open the pack while driving, another 2 to unwrap the piece of gum, then you just have to spit it out since it tastes awful.
~ Bare Minerals foundation. The container of foundation is now smaller (compared to years ago) yet the price remains the same.
~If my kids get one more school project assignment (one more diorama, "authentic" Medieval meal, build-your-own working riverboat, multi-media presentation of life in the Renaissance, quilt depicting Amerigo Vespucci's life, iMovie version of Macbeth as a superhero comedy, etc.) no teacher layoffs will be necessary.
~Pretzel M&Ms. The pretzel pieces are too hard and it feels like you are biting on what you think might be a broken tooth. AAAAH!The Crispy M&Ms were way better. Get the Pretzel Bark from Trader Joe's instead.
~The Lost finale and entire last season. 

The Banana Bread Recipe

I think I have posted this recipe before but I was tweeting about banana bread with Pam and now people are emailing for the recipe so I am posting it here. I don't like walnuts in anything but if you are the type who thinks a banana bread is not a banana bread unless it has nuts in it, then by all means add nuts. We think a banana bread is best with chocolate chips. I also like it sliced and smothered in cream cheese. Delish! Banana bread is the only way I can eat bananas. Uncooked, they are lethal to me. Once I gave my friend this recipe and accidentally typed 2 teaspoons baking soda instead of baking powder. She made it for her family on Thanksgiving without doing a test batch first. Oh how we still laugh about that!

Really Good Banana Bread

Ingredients:

2 cups mashed banana

½ cup butter

¾ cup brown sugar

¼ cup white sugar

1 egg

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

11 ounces all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 tablespoon cinnamon

¼ teaspoon salt 

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a 9x5 inch loaf pan. 

2. In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugars. Add the egg and vanilla, mix well. Fold in the banana. Combine the flour, baking powder, cinnamon and salt then stir into the banana mixture until smooth. Spread evenly into the prepared pan. 

3. Bake at 350 for 65 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the loaf comes out clean. Cool loaf in the pan for 10 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely. 

Variations: Add one cup of chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, or nuts to the batter before baking.

inside out and twisty

I have a new super power. I can make any "invisible" deodorant visible on a black shirt. Or a purple shirt. Or a red shirt. Pretty much any shirt I wear. Ever since deodorant has become more and more invisible, the more visible it becomes, especially as soon as I leave the house.  I think this must be a result of my recent spider bite. What else could cause this? The other day I was out running errands and realized when I got home that there was a white streak of invisible deodorant on the shoulder of my shirt. First of all, that's embarrassing. But second, how did I DO THAT? I don't remember the deodorant falling off the self and landing on my shoulder and there's no way I am coordinated enough to do some complicated move that makes my shirt go all inside out and twisty while I am wearing it. It doesn't matter if I put deodorant on before I put my shirt on or after, it ends up on the outside of my shirt.  I don't see other people at Starbucks or Office Depot or even in the deodorant aisle at Target with "invisible" deodorant on their shirts. I would like the antidote for this super power, stat!
I wonder if  people who use those rocks for deodorant walk around with sand on their shirts and wonder how long it has been there.

Visual Chronicles on your iPhone!

If a book is not made of paper is it still a book? I am not sure. I have always loved the feel of a new book in my hands, the smell of the paper, the breeze the pages make as you flip through them. But, I also really love my iPhone. It's so cool how books and phones and cameras are all rolled into one now so you have more space on your shelves for....wait, for what? Oh, yes, ART!  Visual Chronicles is now an eBook! Or is it E-book? I don't know. But you can get it on amazon for your kindle. If you have an iPhone, the kindle app is FREE! You just pay for the books.Neither of us has a kindle so we have not seen Visual Chronicles on the kindle. I do know that on the kindle it is not in color.  I have seen Visual Chronicles on my iPhone (in glorious color) and honestly it is the only book I have ever seen on my phone so I have nothing to compare it to. I have never read a book on my phone. I just take pictures and tweet with my phone. But, I am used to scrolling and making things larger and smaller on my phone so that part is not odd to me. 

  The pages of Visual Chronicles look just like they do in the paper version of the book. The pages are square and the screen is a rectangle and that can't be changed.  A small version of the page is displayed then you expand it with your fingers to the size that is is for you to read it or move it around. You scroll right or left to turn the page. You click an X  at the top to close the page.  I thought it was easy to read. There were a couple spots where when enlarged to the max the words were a little pixely, but still easy to read. I don't know if that is normal or due to the dimensions of the page or what. Perhaps people who read a lot of books on eReaders (E-readers?) are used to that. I don't know.  I just think it is really cool to have the option to have Visual Chronicles in another format now that it is out of print. The kindle version is ONLY $7. WOW! Signed copies of the paper version are available in my shop.

These photos are screen shots from my iPhone so you can see how they'd look on your phone. You can get a free preview sent to your phone or Kindle at amazon. I am sure there must be a kindle app for the iPad, too.

 

We are currently working on the second edition of Meeting In The Ladies Room which will also be available in an eBook (E-book?) format and will include a few more lovely ladies and their reflections. 

swaying a jury

The original of my Red Chair on canvas will be for sale at this year's Taste of Art charity event at Gale's on June 7th. Proceeds from this event benefit The Wellness Community which provides free services to people diagnosed with cancer and their care givers. I know so many people are having difficult times right now and after hurricane and flood and earthquake donation requests everywhere it's difficult to even say, HEY, HERE'S ANOTHER EVENT RAISING MONEY! But, cancer has affected my family so deeply and continues to, just like so many other families that I feel obligated to do what I can~ even if it's just make art. And,  in trying times I know it's nice to go out for a nice night and be surrounded by delicious food, lovely drink, and absolutely amazing art!
That being said, for some reason I am always only ever invited to events that all happen on the same day and am forced into Sophie's Choice type decisions. Unfortunately, this is the case on June 7th. My art will be at Gale's enjoying all the fun while I will be trying to figure out which train to get on in a city where I have no cell reception. If you are in Los Angeles, you should go!
There will be art by many wonderful artists but I don't actually know who except one in particular who I especially like (and have mentioned before), Belinda Del Pesco.
I have two pieces of Belinda's art in my bedroom (an original and a print) and they are the first things I see when I wake up. The print is of an unmade bed with sunlight shining in (oh how it makes me want to stay in bed) and the other is of a small neighborhood with a yellow house and a red wheelbarrow. That one inspires me to start daydreaming as soon as I am awake!  Both are among my prized possessions! Go to Gale's and eat, drink, be merry, and see all the art!
Come on, wasn't there will be art by many wonderful artists but I don't actually know who a total selling point?! It's a shame I am not the sister who gives closing arguments because I am sure I could sway a jury with that one.

rearranging

This week I rearranged the art in my house and the art I want to put out in the world (again). I rearranged the way I want to think about things, and the way I want to react to things. I rearranged my hair so I wouldn't chop it off in a PMS rage before my hair appointment this week. I rearranged my schedule so I could fit in a BIG photo shoot in June. By Big, I mean Jane Smiley will be in front of my camera. So I seem like a really cool photographer instead of a stalker, I won't quote passages from her books during the laid back photo-shooting. After two days at a secret location, I will rush home and rearrange our house for the arrival of Pam and Sara. And then all hell will break loose! Music, art, funny women....let the good times roll!

So between now and June, there will be much more arranging and rearranging, even if only in my head.

*These paintings will be available in my shop.

i want to be

I am procrastinating.
I am daydreaming.
I want to be in Europe figuring out which train to hop on.
I want to be a ball that lands in my garden.
I want to be unreliable.
I want to be at the top of a Ferris wheel in Santa Cruz.
I want to be standing in line for breakfast at Dottie's cafe.
I want to be wrong about sneaking suspicions.
I want to be twirling in Kentucky snow.
I want to be washing sand off my feet.
I want to be listening to conversations in a language I don't know.
I want to be buying something little so I can use a bathroom.
I want to be wondering what is going on at home.
I want to be pleasantly surprised.
I want to be sleeping in the comfiest bed.
I want to be missing something different.

What do you want to be doing?

Dear Donna Karan

Dear Donna Karan,
What the hell are you thinking?
I tried on a pair of your capri jeans the other day and they fit me surprisingly well. I was surprised because it's hard to find a pair of capris that are a good fit in the legs and aren't all gappy in the back of the waistband. Yours were good in both areas. Then I turned around to look in the dressing room mirror and got the fright of my life. There were INTENTIONAL fake horizontal WHITE stretch stripes going across my crotch-thigh-hip area making my size 12 body look like it was previously a size 16 body that had been stuffed into capris that I'd worn for a year but now fit fine.  Donna Karan, would YOU wear these?  Would you wear capris with fake stretch marks all over your curves?!  Why not just add flashing arrows directing people to look my thighs and crotch?
For A Woman, By A Woman. Really? REALLY? 
Grrrr!

Linda