Our neighbors had a real cute Great Pyrenees puppy that was a snowball a few weeks ago and now weighs about 300 pounds and likes human flesh. Especially human flesh carrying bags of trash to their bins. I know this because this morning when I took my trash to my cans in our side yard, the puppy who is now The Abominable Snowman jumped on the fence sending chunks of wood and dog drool into the air-- and me running for my life.
My husband claims the dog is nice and would likely just have licked me to death -but- that dog has a penis. I've seen Animal Planet, I am aware. So I grabbed my camera and went back to get a photo, just in case.
I had about .37345 of a second to snap this photo before more bits of fence went flying.
If that dog knocks the fence over while I am out there braless, without lipstick, and in mismatched clothes because I thought nobody would see me, there will be some serious use of my negative powers.
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