Ever since I declared that we were celebrating being alive and being
alive and being alive, things have been trying to kill me. First, I was
on a 3 lane road in the far left lane behind a crazy truck driver. The truck
slowed down, signaled left, then turned a wide RIGHT into the two lanes
next to me where cars were also thinking he was going left. After all
the screeching, honking and spinning, the wrong way signaling driver
just Miss America-waved the rest of us off and kept going. Then, while
still rattled from my near death experience, I came home and poured
myself a diet coke over ice. I dropped an ice cube on the floor and
Suki got very excited about it! She chased it and kicked it around and
was so happy. I started checking my email, made some calls, then
stepped away to get more diet coke when SPLAT! I was sliding around my
floor just like the ice cube was. Hey, ice cubes turn to lethal death
water on the tile floor when you forget there are there.
Our neighbors had a real cute Great Pyrenees puppy that was a snowball
a few weeks ago and now weighs about 300 pounds and likes human flesh.
Especially human flesh carrying bags of trash to their bins. I know
this because this morning when I took my trash to my cans in our side
yard, the puppy who is now The Abominable Snowman jumped on the fence
sending chunks of wood and dog drool into the air-- and me running for
my life.
My husband claims the dog is nice and would likely just have licked me
to death -but- that dog has a penis. I've seen Animal Planet, I am
aware. So I grabbed my camera and went back to get a photo, just in
case. I had about .37345 of a second to snap this photo before more bits of fence went flying.
If that dog knocks the fence over while I am out there braless, without
lipstick, and in mismatched clothes because I thought nobody would see
me, there will be some serious use of my negative powers.
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Comments
lethal death water
Ever since I declared that we were celebrating being alive and being
alive and being alive, things have been trying to kill me. First, I was
on a 3 lane road in the far left lane behind a crazy truck driver. The truck
slowed down, signaled left, then turned a wide RIGHT into the two lanes
next to me where cars were also thinking he was going left. After all
the screeching, honking and spinning, the wrong way signaling driver
just Miss America-waved the rest of us off and kept going. Then, while
still rattled from my near death experience, I came home and poured
myself a diet coke over ice. I dropped an ice cube on the floor and
Suki got very excited about it! She chased it and kicked it around and
was so happy. I started checking my email, made some calls, then
stepped away to get more diet coke when SPLAT! I was sliding around my
floor just like the ice cube was. Hey, ice cubes turn to lethal death
water on the tile floor when you forget there are there.
Our neighbors had a real cute Great Pyrenees puppy that was a snowball
a few weeks ago and now weighs about 300 pounds and likes human flesh.
Especially human flesh carrying bags of trash to their bins. I know
this because this morning when I took my trash to my cans in our side
yard, the puppy who is now The Abominable Snowman jumped on the fence
sending chunks of wood and dog drool into the air-- and me running for
my life.
My husband claims the dog is nice and would likely just have licked me
to death -but- that dog has a penis. I've seen Animal Planet, I am
aware. So I grabbed my camera and went back to get a photo, just in
case. I had about .37345 of a second to snap this photo before more bits of fence went flying.
If that dog knocks the fence over while I am out there braless, without
lipstick, and in mismatched clothes because I thought nobody would see
me, there will be some serious use of my negative powers.
I am an artist. And an art journaler. And a cookie baker. And someone's sister. And I love the word and. Right here is where I keep my journal.
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