Our beloved 12 year-old nephew (Karen's son) also has an XBox and when Dustin got the XBox hooked up the the internet, I told Karen about the game thinking one day the happy uncle and nephew could do some fake killing together. She got her son the game and of course he got addicted to it, too.
So, I am working on stuff downstairs while Dustin is killing people upstairs and I am listening to all the action (I think). All the characters were in some building and two of the soldiers were talking about life at home while hunting the enemy.
Soldier #1: Back at home in Arkansas I have a bad ass dirt bike at my mom's house. DIE DIE DIE!!!
Soldier #2: Oh that's cool. My dad is fixing up a 'Stang for me when I get home. I'M COMING AFTER YOU!! It's gonna be bad ass.
Soldier #1: Dude, you'll get the chicks with that. WATCH OUT YOU BASTARDS I AM A BAD ASS!
Soldier #2: Dude, bad ass! Chicks in Kansas are smoking hot, dude! My mom lives there with my grandma. AAAH!!! YOU ARE DEAD!!!
And then there was some rapid gun fire as I stood in my kitchen totally shocked. Why had I not heard about Call Of Duty creating games with such stereotypes? They make their characters all soldiers from broken homes who just say bad ass every few seconds? Does Disney make this game? Oh my Buddha! And I told Karen to get this for her son! Then I heard the female character speak.
Soldier #3: Watch out guys, look BEHIND YOU!!!! LOOK OUT!!
Soldier #1: Wool, Jenny, you saved us. You are a bad ass!
Soldier #2: SAVED! You are a bad ass Jenny!
Whew, the token woman in this show is a bad ass. That part is a relief. There was more gun fire and the sound of death.
And then one of the characters yells SHIT! THAT SOCALGRIP KEEPS KILLING ME! Wow. That's some serious technology. It knows and says who is killing who. I had to see that. I went up stairs to look at this game with the soldiers who have dirt bikes and 'stangs waiting for them at home. I had to see what these bad asses looked like. As I was heading upstairs, Soldier #1 announced that he was out, they were serving dinner downstairs. What? They serve dinner in abandoned buildings in war torn video game destinations?
I asked Dustin where the token GI Jane is and in between kills he said he doesn't listen to the other players, he just plays the game.
Uhhhh, WHAT? They were not virtual characters. They are real people playing with headsets with microphones in houses somewhere! The voices came from actual people sitting on couches playing the game.
This might be more disturbing than when it was the game with characters who swore a lot and said bad ass every third word. Disturbing because now I really need to know if that guy will ever get any hot Kansas chicks with the 'stang his daddy is fixing for him. It's gonna be bad ass.
*Dustin does not have that headset thing.
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