If our hair and clothes are going to look bad, we'd at least like to smell OK in the weird light while we eat flavorless food. Luckily, stylist to the stars, Jake Surette, made me whole again with a custom hair dye recipe that has not faded. Buddha bless him. Though, there was no magic deodorant in his bag of tricks. So for the last couple months (since this post) I have tested all the deodorants that didn't make me gag at first whiff. Most made me gag a few hours after wearing them.
The Secret Flawless line does work well but every single scent I tried (and I tried them all) had a base if either wet carpet, dog bath, or deli platter that self-refreshed every hour or so. They also all left white marks all over my uniform of a black t-shirt despite the package claim that says invisible. Yeah, right. I moved on to Lady Speed Stick 24/7 which dares you to wear black. Too bad there was no prize for that dare. It had good fragrance ( Powder Burst) but it also got all over my black wardrobe and needed to be reapplied after 20 minutes of sunbathing in 101 degree sun. I am not even a serial sweater. In the olden days, the normal version of Secret worked all day and smelled great.
I decided to try the Clinical versions of Secret (Sport scent) and Dove (Original Clean scent) thinking "clinical" might just be the Supersize version of deodorant. And you know how Americans love to Supersize! The directions for the clinical versions of deodorant (which, by the way, cost twice as much) say to apply at night. That's too much work. I applied in the morning before getting dressed. Neither left white marks on my black shirt! Neither needed to be reapplied even after sunbathing, treadmilling, and being nervous. The Secret did have a little bit of a green pepper mixed with men's deodorant smell. The Dove just smells nice and clean and pretty. DOVE ORIGINAL CLEAN CLINICAL PROTECTION wins!!!! I am super excited to be able to eat a deli sandwich without smelling like one. I am also saving time every morning by not having to stand and wipe deodorant off my shirt. Life is getting so good.
Bonus: If you are needing to lose your appetite really fast and all this talk of deli platter deodorant hasn't done it for you, brush your teeth with the new Aquafresh ISO-ACTIVE FRESH IMPACT Toothpaste in the shaving cream canister. It's the consistency and taste of salty shaving cream. Just typing the description is making me reach for a bucket.
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