The next time your kid rings my doorbell then knocks on my door then rings the doorbell two more times all within 20 seconds, his head better be on fucking fire and there better be a wolf right behind him. It better not be just so he can see if he can have an apple off my tree or so I can fetch a ball for him. I am done fetching.
Some people don't wear a bra or makeup or even matching clothes when they are at home and don't feel like answering their door. Also, some people saw that episode of Oprah where she tricked people into answering the door to strangers and they got robbed so they never answer the door in case it is Oprah playing a trick. Also, Some people work from home and can't rush to the door to stop it from being repeatedly knocked on because your kid doesn't know it's annoying to knock-ring-knock-ring for ten minutes. Kid, if I haven't answered after the first knock, LEAVE. Or, use your skills and read the DO NOT DISTURB sign first. Having to interrupt a call with a client because Jimmy is banging on the door for an apple is just not professional.
Also, parents, why are you letting your ten year-old kids go knock on someone's door alone? Why is that ok? Do YOU not watch Oprah? I am not sure what is bothering me more~ that nobody is teaching their kids how to not be annoying or that all these kids are alone and knocking on the doors of strangers. Either way, it has to stop immediately.
Yours truly,
Your neighbor in the cheery yellow house with the peaceful Buddha on the front porch
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