Dear Universe: I have been swabbed enough.
I went to the doctor today because I have accepted that 2009 will be the year I spend most of my time in a waiting room. I've had a sore throat and cough for 3 weeks and even though I've been to various doctors in the last couple weeks for everything other than a sore throat and cough, none of the doctors was the right doctor for those symptoms. Also, my left arm was suddenly hurting and I thought maybe I'd be the type of person who dropped dead of a heart attack while being worried she had cancer. That would so totally happen to me! Luckily, it's just strep throat, swollen glands and tonsils and the doctor was pretty sure I wasn't having a heart attack (but what if she's wrong?!). I went to the other woman doctor in the same office where Dr. No Referrals was and she was very nice. No problems! Not a good sign, I know.
I have realized in the last couple weeks that I can't hold my breath or take deep breaths when told to. When I hear "hold your breath" for some reason it translates in my brain to either TAKE A HUGE DEEP BREATH -OR-I hear TOTALLY STOP YOUR HEART FROM BEATING AND DIE. I associate holding your breath with stopping your heart and I can't do that. I bet that is why I can't swim! You need to hold your breath to swim, so I'd just drown. But then, when I hear take a deep breath I hear HOLD YOUR BREATH and can't do it. I am the Opposite Breathing Freak! I bet doctors and x-ray people love me because of that!
When I was leaving the doctor's office this afternoon there was a giant glowing rainbow! I suspect that is also a bad sign. I would've taken more photos of the sign of doom from different angles but it was raining and I didn't want to get my iPhone wet. I totally would've stopped breathing if that happened.
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