I have this pair of jeans I love. They fit perfectly and are even a
little loose. But, the stupid zipper never stays up. Every time I sit
down then stand up, I have to re-zip. It's annoying and I don't wear
these jeans too often in public because constantly checking my zipper
would make me a fidgety weirdo. I do wear these jeans around the house though
because around the house you can wear whatever you want and nobody
Our gardener comes on Friday afternoons (usually) but this morning when I got out of the shower, I heard him in the back yard just as the storm clouds were coming in. It was the day to pay him and I needed to run to the bank so I put on those jeans (with a belt), a t-shirt (which I tucked it in), a hoodie, a scarf, and a coat (and of course I had on underwear and bra!). It was really cold out.
The bank (and Starbucks) are about 3 miles away. When I left the house, all in the 'hood was quiet. It was especially quiet because the house next door is suddenly vacant*. I went to the bank and the Bux drive-through and as I made my way home (I was gone maybe 15 minutes), I saw about ten police cars racing out of my neighborhood. That's odd! I pull into my driveway (get out of seated position) and see Ignacio standing there stunned in the garden. I paid him and asked him what happened as the rain is starting to come down. He tells me that all the cops swarmed the house next door looking for the guy who lives there but the house was empty. I always thought that guy was weird! Ignacio says he got nervous because he thought something bad was about to happen because choo never know. He's so right.
I go inside and was texting Dustin that I was right all along about our neighbor being weirdo and about the cops when Ignacio knocks on the door and tells me I need to look at our lemon tree. I still have my jacket on and everything and I go out in the pouring rain and I'm talking to Ignacio about the trees when I suddenly remember I was seated and now I am not and my zipper is probably unzipped. I kind of feel and it is. But he's talking to me and I have a lot of layers on so it would be weird and obvious if I try to zip up. And, why would he be looking? And, I was trying to make the conversation shorter anyway because it was freezing and raining and my zipper was unzipped. And he kept talking. And my zipper was unzipped. Finally I say something like planting roses sounds great! and try to make my escape when he says, your uh, uh what eees the word zeeeper is undone**.
Oh my Buddha.
I tell him thanks for telling me and mumble about my stupid pants.
And this is why I never answer the door.
*This is the house where the dogs used to come over through a hole in the fence and have parties.
**Why did he tell me? I was at home and was going inside my house where I would've noticed in a second. I would've wanted to be told if I was in public, but I was in my own own garden. It was weird. AND REALLY FUNNY (later).
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