I'm still really miserable and still can't really eat so I thought I'd torture myself by leaving my tv on the Food Network while I dozed in and out of sleep today. I guess I haven't seen much of the food network lately because I was shocked at how different Tyler Florence suddenly looks in this year's Thanksgiving special. Oh, wow! His current weight situation made me want to try some of his recipes even more! And after watching that Semi-Homemade lady, I can tell you I never need to try any of her recipes. They all looked gross and she looks the proof of that. If her recipes were good, she'd be fatter and less Stepfordy. I drooled over everything Paula Deen was making, as did she. I love her!
I got totally grossed out watching Ace of Cakes. What is with all the hairy people? All the cake bakers and decorators had really bad hair that looked dirty or un-combed, had on filthy clothes and didn't wear aprons or hair nets and they touched the fondant and cakes with their bare hands. Ok, I get the bare hands thing, but why do they have to have Kurt Cobain hair? I decided I want to see only clean people baking cakes. I totally get that they are artists but when your art is something people EAT, don't be gross. Don't pet a dog then touch frosting. Wear an apron at least.
I must've slept through Emeril because I saw none of him. Or has he stopped having tv shows since his pots, pans and seasonings are everywhere? His recipes were good and he was pudgy. See, I am on to something here! Well, ok really I only know that one recipe was good because I only ever made one- his banana cream pie. It was delish (so delish that it was worth the allergic reaction. So totally worth it). But the food at his restaurants in Vegas was very good.
The day goes by really slow when you spend it on the couch watching food shows and alternating between lusting and wanting to barf.
I'm supposed to try chewing gum tomorrow to loosen my jaw up. I can't wait to wake up! Is there pizza flavored gum? I wonder if Tyler Florence has invented any. I'm not sure how I won't be needing the Heimlich maneuver with the gum and the MO FO flipper both in my mouth, but I am sure I will remember every hilarious detail. I might have to get the video camera out for this!
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