On Thursday I was sitting here writing an email and swirling around in my desk chair while listening to The Bee Gees singing .... talk in ev-er-lasting woooords... when suddenly my tooth fell out into my mouth. For a second I thought I might be asleep and having a nightmare because it was just the right amount of reality combined with terror and disgust. I spit the tooth out into one hand and with the other I felt my eyes to make sure they were still there. If it were a nightmare, they might be gone, too. They were there and open. I ran to the bathroom but as soon as I got in front of the mirror I was afraid to see what my new smile was going to look like. I was also afraid there was going to be blood and that when I fainted I'd hit my head on the counter and die. Although, death would be cheaper than a dental implant. There was no blood and there is still a small bit of the tooth there so when I smile it's not totally gross. It feels gross. And, I am not really smiling at the moment.
I was doing my best to be very careful with that mo fo cracked tooth so that I could wait to get the implant in the beginning of 2009 so at least some of it would be covered by my dental insurance (though most of the cost of the implant is not covered by insurance, just the extraction is. I used most of my coverage for 2008 on the Exploding Tooth incident earlier in the year). Now I can't wait due to the pain, risk of infection and it's really ugly. Wednesday is implant day! Karen is going with me because IV sedation is way more fun with your sister and I know there's no way she will forget to have the doctor give me lots of Vicodin and extra for her because she will suffer vicariously through me. I won't get the actual tooth on that day. It's just the removal of the tooth and the implantation of the thing they attach the fake tooth to that takes 6 months to heal if I don't need a bone graft. In between Wednesday and six months from now, I'll have a fake tooth on a stupid retainer thing called a flipper that is already annoying the hell out of me and I don't even have it yet.
I had that stupid retainer thing when I was thirteen and am having annoyance flashbacks.
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