Since I live in a stupid town* that doesn't have a store that sells good
bras for those of us with chests that enter a room 3 hours before the
rest of our bodies do, on the 4th of July, Karen and I celebrated our independence by going bra shopping at the mall 45 minutes from my house. It seemed like a good day to do it because traffic would be minimal and there wouldn't be too many shoppers at the mall hogging the only two tables at Cinnabon.
Since that day, I have been complaining to my friend Julie that Le Mystere has ruined my life by totally changing the straps on the only bra that ever fit me. I'd put the bra on then text her, email her, and leave her voice mail messages about how annoyed I was because she wore the same bra and understand my misery. The Dream Tisha bra used to be good with nice thick padded straps and now they are stupid thin straps that are irritating and the way the straps are makes the cups smaller. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I even took photos of the bra straps and how different they were and emailed them to her so we could write nasty letters to Le Mystere together!
I was really shocked when Julie emailed me back that the new straps looked just like the straps on the bras she's always worn. It's odd because we've always worn the same style bra since Oprah told us to. The stupid, ill-fitting bra I was wearing grew even tighter as I read her email.
I bought an E when I meant to get an F. E looks like F. The fine folks at Le Mystere have not changed the best bra in the world. But, I have no idea how you E cup people stand those stupid straps. The F cup straps are way better. I am so glad I was so OCD about sharing my misery with Julie or I'd still be wearing that annoying bra in a size too small. See, complaining is good.
I am relieved that the the plan to ruin my bra didn't really happen. The plan to ruin my favorite cookie has happened, though. Nabisco tried to fake me out by bringing back the Arrowroot biscuit but they replaced the thin, buttery cookie that melts in your mouth with a thick round disc of flavorless cardboard. These cookies are supposed to be "child's first cookie" but there's no way a teething child could bite these. WTF Nabisco?
*HAHAHHA!!! On the little video for the city where I live, there is a brown haired girl named "Maria" who supposedly lives here to guide you around the virtual town. Uhhhhh. Yeah, right. Don't let that fool you. I think I am the only minority who lives here.
Go ahead, complain about something here. Somebody might help you! At the very least, you will feel better.
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