I had really big plans for tonight and none of them are going to happen. We were invited to one of those mega block parties where everyone is drunk and some kid is probably being molested by the one husband everyone thinks is kinda weird but nobody says anything which is really stupid because when we were kids, most kids we knew who were molested by a friend's mother's new husband were molested at a block party where all the parents where drunk or stoned or flirting with each other. Anyway, my husband said he'd go because he's really nice, he loves parties and he loves being invited to them. See, opposites do attract.
I was practically shoving him out the door to go so I could color my hair, clean out the kitchen cupboards, treadmill, and work on some art projects while listening to my new favorite song on repeat for 5 hours while not being interrupted at all.
Leave it to me as I find a way to be
Consider me a satellite, forever orbiting
I knew all the rules, but the rules did not know me
I am in love with Eddie Vedder. I am sure if God had a voice, it would be Eddie Vedder's speaking voice. Did you see the Pearl Jam Storytellers? I wonder if Eddie hears himself speaking and just can't believe that is his own voice.
As I was making the hot artichoke dip for my husband to take to the block party I'd never go to (15 miles away), a freak in a hoodie rang our doorbell. There are two sounds I never respond to: the phone ringing and the doorbell. My husband who never saw that episode of Oprah about never answering your door, answered the door. Hoodie guy started by saying, I'm not here to rob you but I'll get to my story... and my husband said, I'm not interested in whatever you're selling, and shut the door. Who goes door-to-door selling stuff in the dark on NEW YEAR'S EVE? I am sure hoodie guy was casing the joint to rob us blind. Of course he was! Whenever anyone says I'm not here to rob you, it means they are. Just like when people start by saying, to be honest with you, it means they are about to lie. And to be extra clear, if you've received an email from me that starts with I'M NOT STALKING YOU, I really am not stalking you. I'm just enthusiastic. My husband went back outside to see if he saw the weirdo and decided it was safe for him to leave his little wife home alone because he didn't see anyone out there. I pointed out that it's hard to see freaks hiding in bushes. Whatever. So, he went to the party and instead of me doing my big plans, I am sitting here in a house with every light on while listening to weird noises. WTF? I feel like Inspector Clouseau, every time I enter a room I enter in karate chop stance.
2008 is just a few hours away, PST. We don't make New Year resolutions because they way we look at it, every new minute begins a new year. Every new minute is a chance for us to live. Every new minute is a chance for us to practice what we preach and be compassionate with ourselves and with others when we (or they) slip. We're still practicing.
Happy New Year! Thanks so much for reading our blog, buying our books and art, and for being funny and supportive and encouraging when we need it! We're so happy to know YOU.
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