Things That Better Not Happen (again) Before, During or after a Family Gathering:
1. Lee better not stop at McDonald's: A few years ago, he fell and broke both arms in the parking lot of Micky D's.
2. Karen better not fall into Lee's pool. [tho we all secretly hope she will]
3. Tod better not get run over by a reindeer coming home from our house Hanukkah Eve: One year, as we drove behind him on our way back to L.A. from Palm Springs, Tod got rear-ended by some speeding square dancing fucktards in their full dancing garb. It was a Twin Peaks Moment. [sorry, it's a story about Tod so I had to use his word]
4. Karen better not have a premature baby: Ten years ago as we gathered for Hanukkah, while decorating cookies, Karen's water broke and out came beautiful boy, Brent, 2 months early. [no, she is not pregnant now]
5. Nobody better ask me if THIS is the year I'll get pregnant.
* There will be two lists today because yesterday we all got together and luckily none of the listed events happened, again. I was too hung over on sugar to blog. That lemon cake from Costco is still the best.
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