Never underestimate the power of compassionately recognizing what is going on.
-Pema Chodron
Those words from Pema Chodron are on the wall above my desk. I love those words. They have helped me in many situations the last few months when anger was my first reaction- sometimes it was my second and third reaction, too, but I knew it. I recognized it. Those words also help me when I am happy, which is way more often than being angry or hurt. It doesn't really help with irritation, though, because sometimes seeing what is going on is what causes the irritation. Then I am compassionate and I am irritated.
I was cleaning out my desk today and came across the little handbook our publisher gives to authors when they sign their contracts. It tells you how to prepare your art for the photo shoot, how to format your manuscript, and how to make corrections before the final printing. The handbook prepares you for what happens during the book making process. It doesn't prepare you for what happens when the book comes out~ and that is far more important. As I continued cleaning out my desk while recognizing what is going on, I thought maybe I should make notes for next time:
1. Your book will come out the same time you finally get Tivo. Your friends will leave many messages on your answering machine that go like this, oh now that you're an author you don't return calls, when really, you're just watching 14 hours of Curb Your Enthusiasm and it has nothing to do with THE BOOK.
2. The same friends who assume you aren't answering your phone because you are an author will be really unhappy that they aren't authors when they've been trying for years and will start asking you when you'll stop with the book stuff and finally have a baby. Try hard not to leave an outgoing message on your machine that says you are too busy making babies to answer the phone.
3. No matter how many times your husband says he's proud of you, there's going to be a little bit of Chad Lowe in him.
4. All those marketing classes you took in college will sort of pay off. You'll finally get to write your own press releases then be totally confused about what letterhead to put it on and whether or not you should put your phone number on it.
5. Somebody will read your book, repackage your ideas and wording and pass it off as their own while they act all cool and like you won't know. New author, now you know how Kate Spade feels.
6. The fans of the "repackager" will outnumber your own
7. For all the thousands of people you make happy with your art and philosophies, there will be a couple people who hate it and you and will have no problem telling you and everyone they come in contact with. In fact, they'll go out of their way to let the world know they think you suck. This WILL happen. It is ok, kind of like when the ink smudges.
8. You'll never ever, EVER be able to go into a book store again without immediately going to the section where your book should be to be sure it is there.
9. When you meet your greatest fan, your hair will have bad roots, your nail polish will be peeling, you'll have food on your shirt, and you will be in the last place you'd ever expect to meet a fan.
10. Things are totally going to change and change brings opportunity.