Tomorrow kicks off the start of the Visual Chronicles Book Tour and it is giving me nightmares. In the first nightmare, I gave birth to a baby that projectile vomited Styrofoam. I am not sure what that has to do with the book, but it was damn scary. The second nightmare was slightly more realistic. I was trying to decide which of my 12 black jackets to wear and glanced at the clock and saw that it was 8:30 and that I was an hour and half late to my own book signing. I started screaming to my brother and friend who were suddenly in my bedroom that not only was I an hour and a half late (in reality, that'd so never happen) but Karen hasn't called to ask me where I am so she must be late, too, and not even know I am not there yet. I woke up all sweaty and had to run to the kitchen and start eating ice cream (that part of the night might be due to my dependence on Ambien).
There are just a whole new set of WHAT IFs now...what if nobody comes? What if everybody comes? What if they run out of books? What if nobody buys a book? What if I accidentally say fuck while discussing our philosophy on self expression? What if it is sweltering in Borders and sweat is just pouring down us like water down the Trevi Fountain? What if it is freezing in Borders and our teeth chatter while we try not to swear? What if I start crying tears of pride as I listen to Karen, the best sister EVER, read from the book we made together? How lame would that be? What if my waterproof mascara isn't really waterproof? UGH.
Clearly, we won't be running out of things to journal about.
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