When we're together, really weird things happen. Yeah, weird things happen when we're apart, but they usually involve other people when we're together and seem way weirder. And funnier. We've been trying to figure why we attract such weirdness to our lives. We realized that Karen attracts criers and I attract people who have no concept of physical boundaries. This combined magnetism is wreaking havoc ~ mostly for me. Together, we attract people oozing bodily fluids (tears, saliva, phlegm) who can't help but grab me, hug me, rub my arm or sit on me as Karen stands by watching in terror (and giggles). It doesn't matter where we are....the bathroom at the Montclair mall, the Mann theatre on Ventura Boulevard, all airports we've ever been in and airplanes we've been on, conventions, workshops, Sephora. This oddity knows no limits. We certainly know all these soggy hugs and rubs are not intended to be scary or violating~ it is just weird.
We've learned to prepare* for the eventual molestation that happens on our outings. We can even see it coming (Incoming at 2 o'clock! Incoming!). But, we're about to embark on a book tour** and we're limited on time. Often these teary eyed hug fests take too long. We needed a solution and consulted the master of all problem solving.
Well duh. We just said we are prepared. Let's try again.
From now on? Stupid fortune cookie. I am kind~ I never tell those touchy feely criers to fuck off. But ok, for the sake of learning and growing, let's play along. And we do know from our recent sign from the universe that if a problem lasts for more than a decade, you may be the problem. From now on we'll seek out (instead of avoiding) the sad people and just hug them really good as we make our way from the gate to the plane and hope they don't sit next to us. We'll get to them before they get to us! We'll pass out tissues, hugs, and art journals. Honey, paint that need for a hug from a stranger!
* We never go anywhere without Purell, Handiwipes, and a cafe table to keep strangers at a comfortable distance.
** Buy our book and you can cry (but most likely, you'll laugh) and hug us to death. Really. I'll even hug you back.
[An excellent imaginary prize goes to the first person who knows where touch-a, toucha-a, touch me comes from.]
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