When I first started seeing those commercials for The Sex Inspectors on HBO, I was wondering what the bloody hell those couples were thinking agreeing to allow cameras in their bedrooms. What could be more embarrassing to watch except maybe The Cathouse series (which was not only embarrassing but gross)?!
There are 3 very important lessons to be learned by watching the The Sex Inspectors.
1. I've said it before and I'm still saying it: Americans who have never left America have no idea how to use a duvet. The proper way, as seen on most of the beds in the show, is to cover your mattress with a fitted sheet and use your duvet (in a duvet cover) on top. The wrong way, the way that jailbird Martha Stewart likes to tell people, is to used a fitted sheet, then a flat sheet, then a blanket, then a comforter, then the duvet in a cover folded at the food of the bed. The Martha Stewart way should also suggest drinking a gallon of water before going to bed because the blanket-comforter-duvet combo will you have sweating to death in no time flat. Pay no attention to what the couples in the beds are or are not doing- notice the duvet usage!
2. While most women in America (or at least every woman we know) seem to be totally irritated by their husbands making moves on them while they make dinner, do dishes or are otherwise engaged in anything that requires both hands (putting the cover on the duvet), women in England don't seem bothered by it. What is that about? Being groped while you chop carrots is not foreplay! Foreplay would be the husband coming into the kitchen and announcing that you should go watch all those episodes of Oprah and Laguna Beach that you TIVO'd while he does the dishes and folds the laundry.
3. That "sexpert" Tracey Cox has no idea what she is talking about. In every episode I saw, she gave the couples advice that when tried, did not work. Then she'd try to cover it up by saying. "oh, at least they had a giggle over it!" Yeah, great. Aha! Miss Cox (that can't be her real name, can it?) is not married. Single women always have way different advice than married women do.
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