It is a holiday weekend here so you know what that means: my house is broken. We'll never forget the freezing Thanksgiving when we had the near fatal gas leak and had to move out. And now this: Memorial Day weekend with no water because a water pipe high apple pie in the ceiling broke. I'm starting to look like the summer version of Kurt Cobain- which is not much different than the freezing cold Thanksgiving version of Kurt Cobain because I couldn't wash my hair then, either.
This newly discovered photo of us at Capitola in the 70's is quickly becoming one of our favorites. It is funny because we're both wearing thongs (or as adults with children who've lost their ability to not speak in baby talk call them~ flip flops). Now, we hate wearing thongs. I also hate wearing turtle neck shirts which I am clearly wearing in this photo. Wait, maybe this isn't us.
Last night, I got a call from a friend shopping at Barnes and Noble~ Friend: What book should I buy? I want something good. Me: Why are you asking me? Friend getting irritated: Because YOU READ ALL THE TIME! Me: Oh, ok, you MUST read YOU: THE OWNERS MANUAL! Stop and buy some aspirin on your way home. Puzzled Friend: But that's non-fiction!
I think it is time we come clean about something. This something may send our brothers (Tod and Lee*) straight from their chairs to the floor. We don't really read books. Or, at least not the books everyone thinks we would read. Karen reads even less than I do (she also sleeps less). I've never read Harry Potter, The Da Vinci Code or anything by Louis Lamour. We do read new books by our favorite authors (John Irving, Aimee Bender, Jane Smiley , Louise Erdrich and there are more) and we cherish our many signed first editions. We buy books we want to read and we still want to read them as the stack grows taller and taller. Almost every day a friend asks me if I've read whatever the book of the day is and when I say NO, they are shocked. It seems particularly shocking to people that I have not read one word written by David Sedaris. Ok friends, here is the scoop: Yes, I do read ALL THE TIME, but I am reading magazines. Every magazine from Elle to Vanity Fair! The books I read are about ART, architecture, photography, health, TRAVEL, current events and some books you'd never be caught dead reading~ Dolly Parton's autobiography, for one. I think I may even have read that while listening to Celine Dion. So, there it is. The cold truth. And yes, I really do buy a book based on its cover.
* WARNING: Tod swears a lot and Lee pisses off fan fiction writers.
Today We're FEELIN' GROOVY about: ~Karen won't need a kidney transplant. Whew! But, my husband did offer her one of his so that erases everything he's ever done that has irritated me ~Lunch of Minibons at Cinnabon ~Target brand Fresh Spring Body Wash
Our Bêtes Noires: ~More relatives having heart attacks. Is it rude to ask heart attack survivors to describe the left arm pain in great detail so I'll know whether or not any pain I ever have in my left arm is a heart attack or just a twitch? ~Realtors "decorating" my front yard with flags in the middle of the night in hopes I'll use them to sell my house. ~Shower gel in squeeze bottles not pump bottles
Today We're FEELIN' GROOVY about: ~Julie's words being published in Time Magazine! ~Newman's Own Organics Champion Chip Cookies ~Two
new jackets from Chico's thanks to this month's coupon (despite the
almost as hot as hell days here, I feel nude without a jacket on and
these are like wearing air. Colorful, fun air.)
Our Bêtes Noires: ~Giant pot holes in every road between my house and town
~That silly ribbon they tie on your bags at Chico's (just gimme the jackets and keep your teal ribbon!)
As if I could pass up buying chocolate mint for my garden. I can't ever resist buying it for my mouth and good mood, either. The smell of fresh mint reminds me of our summers in HOT Walla Walla. My grandmother grew it in her garden~ a garden that mingled with a putting green. You'd stop to smell the mint and a golf ball would whiz by. There's nothing quite like the 50/50 chance of death by golf ball in a serene garden setting.
I'm surprised I still wanted to eat after watching all of Entertainment Tonight's coverage of Mary Kay Letourneau's wedding. Have they forgotten she is a convicted child molester?~ After seven years apart and eight months of wedding preparations, ex-teacher
MARY KAY LETOURNEAU and her former student VILI FUALAAU have
finally said "I do" in a private ceremony on Friday. JANN CARL
was the only reporter invited to the wedding.
Um, they were apart because she was in JAIL! Lucky Jann Carl. She got to go to the wedding of a child molester. OOOOOH, I bet Pat O'Brien is jealous. How gross.
It is Sunday so you know what that means. Deadwood is on tonight and more diet soda cake experimenting. Karen made banana cake with diet root beer (and chocolate chips) and it was tasty! She made lots of new friends at the pool with her cake! I tried Lemon cake with diet 7Up. Very good and moist. I am PMSy and don't need more friends, so this cake is all mine.
Those What Not To Wear girls really do make people look better, but they both need makeovers. They both could have cooler hair and would look less all arms not in those capped sleeves. I suspect that Susannah got hair advice (and a barrette) from Jennifer Aniston and Trinny got her hair advice from that Barbie Styling Head I had in the 70's. I am not sure how pulling back the back part of your hair that doesn't even hang in your face into a barrette and letting the long side pieces that get stuck to your lipstick in the wind hang down- requiring you to keep putting it behind your ears- is not totally annoying. So~ if they ever stop me in a mall for looking too frumpy, I will be all excited and happy for their help, as they should be when I tell them all about how there's more than one hair dye color.
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