At my local Ralphs, there's this guy from Grace Cleaners who follows people to their cars and asks them if they ever-EVER- need dry cleaning. He stands by your cart and tries to chat with you until you give in and take his coupon and I am pretty sure pages from the bible. I use my negative powers with him but he doesn't get a clue. I try to time my exit of the store behind other people so I can skate by behind them brushing the guy off and get to my car un-noticed. Or, I try going out another exit.
Today, in the pouring rain, neither entrance/exit was safe. On the right was the Grace Cleaners coupon guy and on the left was a gang of girl scouts and their moms selling cookies. I entered at the side with the graceless guy and figured I'd take my chances leaving on the cookie side.
Like most people, I love Girl Scout cookies. And like most people, I have a Thin Mint dealer. I don't buy my cookies on the street, or at the grocery store exit. I was a girl scout once, for a year, just to get the inside scoop on the cookie scheme. Back then, the our version of internet sales was called going door-to-door. Not very safe. I get that kids should not do that now and that it should not have ever been done. Yet, we did learn a thing or two about selling because we had to find ways to sell our cookies and meet our goal. We did not, for example, go to a place were people were already going to buy food and stand there and harass people.
I pushed my cart out the exit door as the giant raindrops fell, making giant puddles between the parking lot and the entrance. Five uniformed little girl scouts rushed to me asking if I wanted some cookies. Their moms sat there, texting, next to a long table with boxes of cookies stacked on it. No thanks, good luck! I said as I walked on. The girls followed me, just like the dry cleaner guy. The moms kept texting. Oh come on, you know you want some. Then the other one chimed in. Yeah, you know you want some.
They know I want some? What the hell kind of selling tactic is that? I was so shocked that these little kids were speaking to me like 15 year-old boys that I stood there for a second just looking at them trying to figure out what was wrong with them and how to respond.
The moms were still texting as another visibly annoyed woman with a full grocery cart came out. Hey lady, would you like some cookies?
No thank you.
Come on, you know you want some. Our eyes met as the girls kept insisting we wanted some and the next thing I knew, the woman was explaining to me how her cart had a wobbly wheel as she pushed it toward the table of cookies.
It's funny how those wobbly wheeled carts are good at pushing over stacks of boxed cookies.
As the moms got up to rescue their investment that was now floating in a puddle of rain, the woman said it was such a shame the cookies were all wet- she really wanted some, oh well. Then she walked out into the rain.
I hope the next time Wonder Woman is at the store she exits on the dry cleaner guy side. If I wait long enough, she will have cleared all the entrances and exits for me, once again making shopping a pleasurable experience.