My husband is obsessed with getting our cars washed all the time. He thinks cars go faster when they are clean. I suspect this is just something that goes along with being a male, because growing up we heard this often from our grandfather. Albeit, the crazy grandfather, but whatever. Men think cars work better when they are sparkly and clean. It's obvious when my car is not clean because it is black. At home, it is always parked in the garage (next to my husband's perfect car) so not one speck of dust gets on it. And because I am me, lately every time my husband gets my car washed, I leave my car alone for an hour and return to it covered in gunk.
Two weeks ago, Karen and I met in Sherman Oaks. I parked my car in a residential neighborhood and hopped in to her also black-but happily filthy- car. When we returned a few hours later, someone had thrown a vanilla milkshake on my car! The entire front end of my car was covered in shake that was now baked on. Oh my Buddha! I got home and my husband rushed my car to the Soapy Suds and made it whole again.
Saturday, I met some friends in lovely South Pasadena. I parked my shiny clean car on a residential street (again), hopped into my friend's car, then we painted the town red for a few hours. We returned to my car:
This photo does not even-at all- depict how much bird poop was on my car. All over my car... the doors, the windows, the trunk. None of us had ever seen so much bird poop in our lives! No other car around mine had any bird poop on it at all. It wasn't even normal sized bird poop. It was bird poop from Pterodactyls.
My husband almost needed the paddles of life to get his heart going again when he saw it.
Before I returned to my bird poop car, we stopped at Barnes & Noble to read all the mags without buying any. I turned around and a frat guy coughed on me. I now am pretty sure I have a combination of mono, pneumonia, strep throat, a sinus infection, and an ear infection. I don't know what the deal is but I keep attracting gunk in all forms. Ok, at least I for sure have the sinus-ear thing.
Time to drink some DayQuil and get to work.